
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
He Still Throws Like a Girl

Monday, July 13, 2009
Gore one for da Bulls

Am I the only one who roots for da Bulls????? And whats with cuttin off da Bull's best weapon?? OK, I've had it in for Spain ever since a greasy gold merchant shortchanged me in Rota in 1991... something about how there was a "New Peso" and all I had were "Old Pesos" that he was doing me a favor by even taking... by the time I realized I'd been ripped off we were goin through the Suez some 3000 miles away...
Never understood Bullfighting either... Some Fancy Pants Matador who actually wears Fancy Pants, sticks Swords in a poor defenseless Animal, then cuts off his ear... instead of doing like we Americans and driving a Captive Bolt between the eyes and cuttin his Jugulars open...
So every July, I put on my Bulls Jersey, and tune into ESPN hoping that they're carrying the Running of Da Bulls instead of Indoor Soccer or Women's basketball...
Da Bulls have had a bit of a dry spell, 14 years since they last won one, 1995 to be exact, when some smart alek American College Student on Summer Break took a horn to the spleen...
Go Bullsssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Young Dr. Drackman: Chapter VII

Sunday, July 12, 2009
Fox Sunday Housecall with Isadore Rosenfeld M.D.

"and You can have Vaginal Dryness!!!!..." Dr. Isadore Rosenfeld, Fox Sunday Housecall, July 12, 2009
Old Izzy...the Quack that keeps on giving..... where to start......
Did you know that Migraine Headaches cut a woman's risk of developing Breast Cancer???? Not really sure how it works, but he recommends 1 migraine a week just to be safe... Seriously, Izzy thinks it might be that Women with migraines often take NSAIDS, you know, like aspirin or ibuprofen, except for some reason the only one Izzy mentioned was Aleeve, which have been shown to cut the risk of breast cancer.... he didn't mention the study that found this connection, probably cause he pulled it out of his ass..... Obviously, its that Women with Headaches of any sort, have less Sex, which means less Post Coital Cigarettes, which we all know cause all Cancer... DUH
And did you know Coffee cuts the risk of Alzheimers??? He did mention the research for this one, in which they gave laboratory mice with Alzheimers the equivalent of 5 cups of coffee a day, then cut their little heads off to see..... umm I'm not sure what you'd see to tell the truth, but supposedly the mice with coffee stained incisors did better than the Mormon Meeses..... just a few questions...
1: How do you diagnose Alzheimers in a Mouse??? When Mickey can't find his car keys??? When Chuck E Cheeze forgets about the deep dish pepperoni in the oven????
2: Where do you get the little mice size Mr. Coffees?????
3: Where do you get the little mice sized Splendas????
4: Why didn't you recommend a particular Coffee??? Juan Valdez didn't give you your cut this month???
Then he got into a disturbing discussion of how to treat Decreased Libido in women.... Typical Internist... mentioned 3 or 4 useless lab tests but no treatments...
Then a boring discussion on Diastolic Dysfunction....... maybe thats whats wrong with Mrs. Rosenfelds libido.... No, not Diastolic Dysfunction, but having to listen to that windbag for the last 50 years.....
He closed with his weekly Healthy Health Hint.......
Did you know those new fangled Computer Machines are a Health Hazard???? In fact Izzys machine has "Thousands of Massive Wires coming out the back" and kids can get shocked if they wander behind the computer..... in fact THOUSANDS of Children go to the ER EVERYYEAR after tripping on these Massive wires
And Thousands of children go to the ER EVERY YEAR after a Computer falls on them... so hmmm he didn't say what to do, but be careful out there....
And oh yeah, theres all sorts of Viruses, and Spam, and Porn on the Internets, so you should supervise your Children when their on the Computer..... don't want them gettin in to your Porn...
Friday, July 10, 2009
Extracuriccular activities...1976 style

Take 2 unsuspecting, fortune hunting young ladies, an eccentric landlord, some local loonies, a helpful magazine editor, a few impetuous boyfriends, shake together in a rundown Greenwich Village basement apartment, and you get........................
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Landmarks of Atlanta: Atlanta Fulton County Stadium

They paved Paradise, and put in a Parking lot.... Umm...well they had to, they built the new stadium next door, and ya gotta park somewhere...
Atlanta Fulton County Stadium served as the Home of the Braves from 1966 until 1997 when it was blown up, they say it was a Planned Demolition, but I still think it was the Jews.... just like with 9-11...
Saw my first major league game there in 1969, don't remember a single detail from the game except for Chief-Nok-a-Homa's War Dance that he'd do on his way to his Tee-Pee in Left Field... The Chief would set off smoke signals, and try to catch homerun balls with a net, all for a wage of 26 Cents worth of Wampum per game, pretty good deal until the Political Correctness Police showed up... last I heard he's dealin Blackjack in Upstate New York.....
Most famous event at the Ball Yard was Hank Aaron's 715th Homerun in April 1974, Hammerin Hank sent an Al Downing Slider over that portion of the left field fence you can see in the upper corner...
Braves pretty much sucked until the miracle season of 91'. In college me and my buddies would sometimes drive up the 85 and take in a game, not exactly a family atmosphere... still remember one of the Usher's in 1981 trying to sell me the latest craze to come out of Columbia... I think he called it "Crack".
Realistically, Fulton County Stadium, was a shitty place to watch a game, the seats were far from the field, and it was enclosed, so you couldn't look out and watch your car getting stolen, and even though the normal crowd numbered in the hundreds, you couldn't sneak down into the more expensive seats...
Turner Field's much nicer, you've got your Tooner Field for the kiddies, and Interactive Games , and a Bar that serves Micro Brews and Fru Fru drinks with Umbrellas in them...
If they'd just bring back Chief Nok-a-homa....
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
The Talk

